


The Fool

by crmsndragonwngs



Series: Seiaki RP Generator Prompts [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:05:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Fools don't die...they suffer."</p><p>RP generator prompt:<br/>Seidou reveals a secret to Akira</p><p>Uh...well, kinda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fool

She’s beautiful. He doesn’t know exactly when he comes to this conclusion, but as they sit together in the library, studying kagune types, he looks at her and the thought runs rampant through his mind. They’ve known each other for almost a year now, and though she’s an obnoxious and distant know-it-all he likes to think they’ve become friends.

She glances sideways at him, feeling his gaze on her cheek, and he flushes before she even opens her mouth.

“What is it, Takizawa?” She asks, her tone cool even as her nose wrinkles just a bit (like it always does when she’s uncomfortable). He blinks and swallows, a sudden boldness blooming in his chest as he searches her face for signs of encouragement. Her eyes widen expectantly, and he takes a deep breath.

“Akira, I—” The words catch in his throat and he snaps his mouth shut. What if she... “N-never mind. What’s effective against ukaku ghouls again?” He says instead. 

_Fool._

\---

“Congratulations on making salutatorian, Takizawa!” A classmate calls to him from somewhere across the room. He’s preoccupied with finding his parents, so he doesn’t realize until he literally runs into her that the classmate was Akira.

“Oh! Sorry!” He says, putting his hands on her shoulders to steady her. “Yeah, congrats to you, too. On valedictorian, that is.” 

“Are you looking for someone?” She asks, ignoring his comment. He gives a derisive snort and crosses his arms.

“No, I was just—” He starts, his tone sarcastic and almost cruel, but his sister bounds up to them and he bites back his retort.

“There you are, onii-chan!” Seina shouts over the din of the thousand something excited academy graduates. “I found him!!”

“Oh, Seidou, I thought we’d never find you in this mess!” His mother responds as she pushes through a family congratulating their own child. Takizawa tries to ignore their dirty looks. “Hello there! You must be one of Seidou’s friends. I’m Michi.” _Oh no._

“Uh, where’s dad?” He asks quickly, trying to herd his well-meaning but terribly embarrassing mother away from Akira.

“Yes, I’m Mado Akira. We were in the same class.” She says, grabbing his arm and maneuvering around him. She offers a slight bow and gives his mother a kind smile that takes his breath away.

“You are just the cutest little thing!” Michi exclaims. “Let’s try to find the exit so we can talk properly, dear.” She turns and starts pushing through the crowd again, but Takizawa catches Akira before she has a chance to follow.

“Listen, this is going to be awkward and embarrassing for both of us, so you should probably get out while you can.” He says, but she gives him that same gentle smile and he can’t believe that cold-blooded Akira could possibly be capable of such a look.

“I don’t mind, Takizawa.” She replies, resting her hand lightly over his. “My dad had to leave after my speech, so I don’t have anywhere better to be.” He sighs.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She quirks an eyebrow.

“I won’t.”

He watches her with his family in wonder, amazed at how polite and charming she can be, and he can’t help but think that he— _no._

_What a foolish thought._

\---

“Mado-san, I really need those files on— A-are you okay?” Her eyes are red and puffy, her mascara is running down her face, and to see her like this scares him. “What happened?”

“My dad…” She whimpers, her voice catching in her throat, and she covers her face with both hands. Takizawa takes an empty desk chair and sits next to her.

“What happened, Akira?” He asks again, trying for gentleness. She’s silent for a long moment, save the whining in her throat as she tries to hold back tears, and he is about to ask again when she flings herself at him. Her face buries into his chest and her arms wind around his waist, and at first he freezes.

“He was killed today. By the ‘daughter ghoul.’” She sobs, and her slight shoulders shake with the force of it. And he doesn’t know what to say to that, doesn’t know how to react, so he wraps her up in his arms and hopes she stops crying soon.

“I’m so sorry, Akira.” He whispers, resting his cheek against the top of her head. 

“What am I supposed to do now, Takizawa?” She asks, pushing him away to search his face with watery grey eyes. He doesn’t know how to respond, doesn’t like the hopelessness in her expression or the lost look in her eyes, so he pulls her back to his chest. 

When she finally stills in his arms, he gives a big, relieved sigh. She sits up and laughs as she scrubs her face with the back of her hand.

“I got makeup all over your shirt.” She says through a wavering smile. He returns it and puts his hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t mind.” _Because I…_ He thinks about finishing the thought, but she looks like she wants to be alone. So he tries to force his heart to stop beating so fast instead and stands. “I’ll see you later, Mado.” She sniffs and nods.

“Yeah. I’ll get those files to you before my shift ends.”

\---

He puts her in his will. He tells her to stop by and talk to his mother. To guide his sister, and to beat up her boyfriends when they hurt her. To pet his dog and to tell his father that it’s okay that they didn’t get to speak. He tells her to make sure his family gets all of his stuff. All of it, except for the shoebox on the top shelf of his closet. He tells her that the box and everything in it is for her; birthday cards he was too shy to give her, Christmas presents he’d never built up enough nerve to deliver, a framed picture of them together at graduation that his mother had taken, a small cat keychain he’d gotten because it reminded him of her.

He doesn’t feel that it’s enough. So many years of snapping at each other’s throats instead of admitting how he truly feels about her…how could a box full of foolish cowardice apologize for that?

So he scratches it all out and starts over. And over. And over. He can’t find the words and it sinks in that he might die and he doesn’t want to die. He panics, scrawls words he can’t even read across the page, and curls up in the corner of his childhood room, sobbing and wishing he’d just told her…

\---

All those times he’d wanted to tell her.

What a fool.

What a fucking fool.

He’d always thought her ‘intuition’ was little more than a load of horseshit, but when she freezes in the middle of the battle field, her eyes wide and scared, he knows that _something’s_ wrong. 

So he trusts her.

And then he betrays her.

She told him not to go, it’s stupid, it’s suicide, but as much as he wants to trust her again he wants save her much more. Because if he doesn’t go, she might, and he just can’t take that chance.

 _How selfish_ , he thinks as he grits his teeth and pumps his arms and hopes he makes it in time.

He doesn’t.

Or, at least, he doesn’t make it in time to be useful.

Somehow, that’s worse.

 _What a fool_ , he thinks as he grits his teeth and shuts his eyes and hopes the ghoul makes it quick.

He doesn’t.

\---

“Hi hi, it’s Mado!” He says, and when she flinches he covers his face. He can’t bear that look in her eyes, the way her weight shifts back onto her heels, the metallic creak as her hand tightens on the handle of her briefcase.

“I thought you were…”

“Dead? Nah…” He still doesn’t look at her. 

He can feel blood running down his hand and hopes idly that she doesn’t mind.

“Fools don’t die…they suffer.”

He looks at her then, curious despite himself, and he knows by the wrinkle in her nose that she is uncomfortable.

Or is that disgust?

He can’t tell.

His eye suddenly stings and she recovers quickly (how like her), swinging her briefcase around as it explodes into a large, spined quinque.

She attacks him, but as he slides to the side he is surprised to see sadness in her face. He’d expected anger, or blankness, but he freezes as the dim theater lights glimmer in her watery grey eyes.

Her quinque hits him square in the chest, ripping a hole through him and sending him flying.

“Nice shot, Akira.” He says through a cough as blood collects in his mouth. She stands over him, tall and powerful and beautiful, and he wonders if this is finally it. 

An angel has finally come to take him.

Maybe the fool _can_ be redeemed.

“Why, Seidou?” She asks, and her voice is shaking. He reaches up and touches the hole in his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He croaks, and lifts his eyes to smile at her. She flinches and he wonders what he must look like to her.

A monster?

A murderer?

“I could have saved you.”

“No.” He says, and the laugh in his throat is lost to the blood everywhere else. “I was supposed to save you. If you had gone instead of me, how might this scene have played out?” He smiles again even as she sinks to her knees and starts to cry.

“I was so mean to you. I made you hate me. And then I killed you.”

“I never hated you.” He chokes as he feels his pulse slow. “How fitting that you ripped my chest open.” He takes her hand and pulls it to the bloody, spongey mess, and sighs. “I’m sorry.” He repeats.

“For what?” She sobs. He smiles again.

“For never telling you.” But the words catch in the tangle of shattered ribs. He can’t breathe, can’t say what he’s always wanted to say. He panics, scratches at his throat, and starts over. And over. And over. He can’t find the words and it sinks in that he’s going to die and suddenly he doesn’t want to die. So he splutters words he can’t even understand and draws in on himself. Her face blurs as his eyes fill with tears, and she’s screaming at him and shaking him and telling him to hold on.

“Don’t go!” She shrieks. “Don’t leave me again!”

He tries to say he’s sorry, but he can’t. 

He can’t move.

He can’t breathe.

He can’t speak.

_What a fucking fool…_

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man. I'm so sorry. Just...take that as you will... :P
> 
> Anyway, holy angst, Batman! This is basically a giant headcannon fic, because this is basically how I think Seidou's going to go out. I don't want it to happen, but there you go. In a perfect world, he'd join the Qs, be ~~second~~ besties with Haise, and have a fluffy domestic life with Akira, but we're not going to get that. This is the beautifully tragic reality of seiaki... :(
> 
> EDIT: Ah shit, I guess I should clarify something really quickly. I don't believe that Akira was ever needlessly mean to Seidou. He was a dick to her all the time and she remained very professional throughout. I didn't illustrate the fighting in this fic because it would have made it needlessly lengthy, but I have this headcannon that they started out as really good friends until Seidou started feeling jealous that Akira was always better than him at stuff. I think they remained friends, but the one-sided animosity was too great to ignore, so they bickered a lot. Really, aside from the idea that Seidou only ever committed one act of altruism/heroism/whatever (because that's just not what his character was about, he only ever wanted to help people and be the hero), I agree with this post regarding Seidou and Akira's relationship: http://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/126655337102/tinyghoulproblem-hmmmm-i-cant-quite-agree-with
> 
> Anyway, this is how I feel about Seidou's character as a whole: http://littlemissymonster.tumblr.com/post/117749385403/takizawa-seidou-before
> 
> I just...I just love him so much...


End file.
